I have an ideal situation in my head about everything. Then the pessimist in me makes me have a worst case scenario too, just so I won't be disappointed. Not sure where I heard this saying from, but it stuck with me throughout college, university and now work: "The higher your dreams, the bigger the disappointment". I'm ashamed to say that it had a hand in shaping my decisions since. I wouldn't say it held me back tremendously, but it helped stop me from reaching for the stars on several occasions.
I have been chasing The Ideal since I started working. Admittedly sometimes more enthusiastically than other times. But He listened and gave me many opportunities seen through ratings, promotions and recognition via the leadership programme. But now, I wonder if The Ideal through my eyes is right. As I read and continue learning His Word, I realise that it should be His Ideal. My life for Him, not myself. For His life was for us. For me, unworthy of His love yet receiving it all the same.
And so more and more, I commit my decisions to Him. For Him to guide me. I feel an inner peace. Yes, I may continue to chase dreams. But I know that He will help me do what's right. And more and more, He has shown me that He knows. He listens. He loves.
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