I've been fortunate to be in a job that I can more or less fit around the kids' school pick-ups/drop-offs and activities. It's the first job I've had that was not based on my own merit. I guess that is a bit of a bugbear for me, as I prided on being on assignments or jobs because of what I can do. This one's a bit different but I've always focused on being grateful for the fact that I do have a job and that it suits what I want for now. No more high flying career, but that's a conscious decision on my part. And I should add, I am thankful that we are also blessed to be more or less financially stable that I don't need to have all these other factors to consider in getting a job.

Because it's in an industry I'm not familiar with, in a country where I have had no prior working experience in, coupled with fact that this job was not on my own merit of the same factors, I find myself not only working harder to understand things but also working more to try to prove myself. I don't mind the hard work, despite sometimes the lack of respect I sometimes feel others have for me. However, I keep telling myself that I am working for a higher boss and I just need to explain myself to Him. 

What I find difficult is the double standards. I've got to make sure that others feel supported, cared, listened to. I get told about needing to lift the staff morale. I plan meals around supermarket offers and minimise buying things for myself and the kids, so that we stick to our budget and can save, only for savings to go towards 'rewarding' staff unnecessarily. I get almost immediate negative feedback when I do something wrong (fair enough) whilst others get 'thank you' for merely doing their job but no such thank you for when I frequently do more than my role. 

I don't agree with covering for others when they do short cuts or are lazy. I take issue when my kids are held to a higher standard than 40+ year olds who should know better about patience and doing work with pride. I've often felt I'm not that high in priorities in most circumstances, but it really hurts when I see the kids treated the same. It's tiring. It's emotionally draining.