Land Below the Wind

Visit to a Kadazan longhouse.


Pose pose pose

5.30am view of Mount Kinabalu from Kundasang.







Tip of Borneo. We missed the sunset because we ran out of petrol (yes, believe it or not... this turned out to be a proper road trip!) but still enjoyed the views the next day.

Blast from the past?

Second oldest church...
A change from the concrete jungle of KL, London, Houston, Hong Kong, Tokyo...

White water rafting in Sabah

What Jolly does, Livea does too

Heads up....


Heads d0wn....

I actually drove this on the 'wrong' side of the road!

I asked for a compact car and this was what I got....

Williams Waterwall

A cool reprieve from the boiling temperatures at the Williams Waterwall, a 64-foot tall fountain in Houston Uptown. A supposed 11000 gallons of water flow every minute (on both sides of the wall).

When in Rome, do as the Romans do....

And when you're in US, that means eating big portions....! Arrived safely in Houston on Tuesday night and since then, I have not finished my dinner once! The portions here are gigantic. I haven't had much of an appetite anyway, think lack of sleep is catching up with me, which is rather unfortunate as the steaks here are yum yum yum!

Went to Fogo de Chao yesterday. All you can eat salad and steak. Can you imagine? As if the US 'normal' portions aren't big enough! At Fogo de Chao, we were given a card which had red on one side and green on the other. You help yourself to the salad bar in the middle and when you're ready for some steak, you put your card to green. Waiters walk around with different cuts of meat and they'll approach you to see if you'd like the cut of meat they're carrying around after which they would slice it onto your plate. If your card is on the red side, they leave you alone. Quite cool.

Ribs being cooked

Oh, and the margueritas here are delicious too! A reminder from Saltgrass....

Today, for the first time, I rented a car in a foreign country by myself AND to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road too! I was so nervous. The gentleman at the rental agency must have thought I'd never driven before, with the basic questions I asked him to make sure the car operated the same way as my car back in UK, just the driving would be on the other side of the road. Thank goodness it was an automatic car too. One less thing to worry about. I managed to drive safely from downtown to the Galleria and then back again. Although I did get slightly lost coming back and making my way from one end of downtown to the other. Got honked at twice. Not too bad going, I think. Don't want to speak too soon though - we'll see how the next few days go! Staying away from those margueritas from now on!

Beauty in unexpected places

There is a patch of land at the end of our garden where we dispose of cut grass. Whilst having dinner outside recently, I noticed that a rose had grown from that patch. We hadn't intentionally planted a rose plant there. It was supposed to be the place where we get rid of grass and weeds so that it'll turn to compose. We weren't expecting a lovely rose plant to grow!
Sounds cliched, but I thought it shows that beauty does arise in unexpected places even without the necessary nuturing care.

Which Mask to Wear?

We have multiple personalities. I don't mean that in a clinical psychological sense. We have different variants of personalities we express to different people. I guess how varied they are would be dependent on each person. There's the Work-Me, Home-Me, Friend-Me, Best-Friend-Me, Sister-Me, Daughter-Me, Fiancee-Me, Customer-Me, Weekend-Me, Babysitter-Me, etc. Not hugely different personalities but some aspects are amplified more than others depending on the Me I am. Some people would have seen me in a combination of the above. Less than a handful would have seen me in all.

It's a bit like choosing masks to wear. Whilst getting ready for work, we don a suit (or relevant attire), put on sensible work shoes and pick up notes/laptop. This happens on the outside. On the inside, we mentally prepare by slipping the invisible Work-Mask over. This is not meant in deceitful terms. (Although that does occur in some circumstances, such as faking degrees/qualifications in order to land a job, two-timing your partner, etc). Donning the Work-Mask may mean being more assertive, less outspoken, more structured, whatever suits the job really. Most of the time, we consciously and subconsciously choose which personality to show others. We carefully choose the words to say, things to reveal and outfits to wear.

Which is our true self? Underneath it all, I believe our core is same throughout. It holds our core personality and values. However, as we grow up, we grow shells to suppress or emphasise certain values. As a child, you may have been one who actively spoke your mind. If you grew up in a culture where this was seen as rude and 'children should be seen but not heard', it is likely that you now have a shell that suppresses your opinionated self which you will only reveal to closest family and friends.

Is it right to have several masks? I think so. People need different outlets. I know a PA who is very organised, structured and well-prepared. When it comes to planning her own holiday, her husband does all the organising. Why doesn't she apply her strengths from her day job to her personal life? Well, she needs a break from all that organising. At the core of it, I believe she is still just as organised in her home life and if her husband wasn't good at organising it, she would likely take over and make sure it is done well. But she trusts and knows that her husband will sort it out well in advance. So her core values are there. However, if one is respectful of deadlines at school/work but always misses appointments/promises with family/friends, it would suggest to me that their underlying value is not one of respect but rather, self-centred. They want strangers to have high opinion of them but don't really care what their loved ones have to tolerate. This isn't right - priorities are wrong.

Sometimes we put on the masks to fit in with others. Our Work-Mask may be based on amplifying the qualities that others in the same company have. Our Home-Mask may be dependent on how we want our neighbours to view us.

You remember the watches that have different faces that you can put on to match whatever you're wearing? Or the mobile phone faces that can be changed? I think our personalities are the same. We just subconsciously change it sometimes to suit our 'audience'.

A trip to the Safari

No, it wasn't one in Kenya or South Africa. One closer to home - the West Midlands Safari Park, with Bri, Zhu Shi and Zhu Xin.Giraffe visiting the cars.

Snacking time.

Some of the animals wandering the grounds of the Safari Park.

Bri and Zhu Shi

Me and Zhu Xin

Rock or pebble

Should one stand as firm as a rock or should one allow oneself to be swept away by others? There is a fine balance between holding on to a strong opinion, yet being flexible enough to know when to allow others to influence oneself.

Why is it that in some circumstances, holding steadfastly to one's principles and opinions is seen as being 'difficult' whereas in other scenarios, the behaviour is respected? On the other hand, one who sways in opinions is seen as unreliable and having no opinions althugh there are times when that person is seen as being reasonable.

Why can't people just respect others' opinions without trying to impose theirs on others all the time? It may be difficult to be a rock and hold onto your beliefs and opinions (assuming they don't hurt others!) but it could provide an easier time later on. Others would know that they would need strong justifications to get your opinion changed. But it is difficult. Would you be seen as a rock in terms of an obstacle rather than dependable? Your reasonings are always challenged, you are mentally exhausted from having to explain yourself all the time - at work and at home. These range from explaining why initial efforts were abysmal thus requiring rework, to choices in shoes/clothes/flat/hotel. Why do people need to challenge for the sake of challenging? See the big picture. Would it make a difference to the world whether or not the challenge is accepted or rejected? If it doesn't, don't bother challenging. Don't ask one to justify wearing a blue top vs a black top. Does it matter?

Or would they just see you as being stubborn? Perhaps it would be better to be a pebble so it's easier to be swept away by the waves in whichever direction the winds dictate. There is no need to make any decisions; they are made by others for you. Is that the best way for accountability and responsibility to fall from your shoulders? When there is a strong opinion though, would people take you seriously or would they just disregard it as another belief that can be changed by the right person?

To be a rock or a pebble? Can you be both? Can you be a rock and a pebble? Or must you choose one?

SW19

Strawberries n cream, Pimms... It must be Wimbledon! After a failed attempt last year to get into the grounds (we walked 15mins and still couldn't find the end of the queue), we decided to go in the second week this time. We trooped off to SW19 and hardly had to queue to get in or to get Court 1 tickets! (Queue for Centre Court tickets was even shorter!)


Even the queue cards were proper. Also given a guide on 'queueing etiquette'!

Gardens given a tennis look.

Ahhh - no Wimbledon experience is complete without strawberries and cream!






Left: Order of play

Right: Singles matches

"Henman's Hill" although Henman's already out!

Going into Court 1 for some entertainment! First up was M Bahrami and Gene Mayer vs Peter McNamara and Paul McNamee in the Gentlement's 45 & Over Doubles. Then on came 2001 Men's Wimbledon champion Goran Ivanisevic partnering Henri Leconte to play against Gary donnelly and 'Bobo' Zivojinovic in the Gentlemen's 35RR Doubles.






Antics on Court 1 were hilarious! I was in stitches most of the time. Bahrami, famous for his clowning around, frequently pulled faces at his opponents and threw mock tantrums. When they completed their match (which Bahrami and Mayer lost), we were getting ready to leave when the umpire announced the next match. With Ivanisevic, the 2001 Wimbledon champion and three times Wimbledon runner up, playing, there was no way we were going to miss this! A good decision too because it was a hoot!

Ivanisevic and Leconte came onto court with bandages covering their heads. When they took the bandages off, Bobo used the bandages to tie the poor umpire up. With the umpire stuck in the middle of the court, Leconte took to the umpire's chair and entertained the crowd with superstar-typical-announcement of "We love you". He then proceeded to get the umpire to toss the coin. Leconte called Heads, then without seeing the result of the toss, decides that it was Heads and he chose to serve. When the umpire was finally given his chair back, he duly declared instead that Bobo and Donnelly 'chose to receive'.

Throughout the game we were entertained with
... Leconte's random whistling. At one point, Ivanisevic joined him with Bobo 'conducting' the both of them
... Bobo having a 3 vs 1 match against his 'long'-suffering partner
... Ivanisevic swapping places with the ball girl whereby Bobo also hands his racquet to the linesman. The ball girl wins a point!
... Bobo pulling a chair onto the court, sits himself in it and plays the match from there. He actually won the point!
... Bobo and Ivanisevic going into the crowd when they heard giggling; Bobo proceeding to have a rally with Leconte from the stands
... Bobo swapping places with Leconte in order to partner Ivanisevic then stands there without attempting to hit the balls, therefore losing Ivanisevic's-Leconte's points!
... Ivanisevic showing some dazzling form that won him the Wimbledon title, with a 140mph serve and some well thought out shots
... Ivanisevic going to the sidelines to take pictures with the audience
... Leconte putting two tennis balls down his shirt and playing the set with Sharapova-like squeals
... Leconte having a 'spat' with Ivanisevic when he missed a ball, asking him "Are you with me or with them?". Leconte missed the next ball, after which Ivanisevic promptly returned the question very loudly
... Hearing an 'out' from the linesman, Bobo runs to his bag (all while the play is still going on) and gets a chewing gum out for the linesman (to stop him calling the balls out)
... When the umpire ruled against them, Bobo promptly runs to his bag again to get another chewing gum for the umpire
... Ivanisevic mimicking some of his famous on-court tantrums by throwing down his racquet several times
... Bobo unnecessarily disputing the umpire's calls and whilst the dispute was going on, Ivanisevic continues to serve. Without a partner, Ivanisevic and Leconte easily won the points against Donnelly. During court end changes, with Ivanisevic and Leconte seated, Bobo quickly runs to the other end to get ready to serve to an empty court in order to get the easy points.
... with a winning shot from Leconte, the umpire declares Advantage to Ivanisevic (Leconte's partner), which Leconte got jealous about and complained to the umpire that it was him who hit the winning shot so it should be Advantage Leconte.

Ivanisevic showed a different side to his serious and sometimes foul tempered mood during his competitive singles career. This was so much fun.

It was such a treat overall! Really really enjoyed myself!!!!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Magical... To have a nanny who can pull endless objects out of a small bag... A nanny who flies with a magical umbrella... Medicine that tastes like whatever you want to... Someone who makes cleaning fun... One who gives children a taste of their own medicine without necessarily hurting them... Practically perfect!... A place where you can buy words and conversation... (I can think of a few who should sell them to balance out the 'noise'! See one of my previous posts titled 'blahblahblahblahblah....') Anyway...

If you haven't figured already, I went to watch Mary Poppins yesterday. Although I had to learn how to play Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious on the piano when I was younger, it was only at the musical yesterday that I learnt how to say it without looking at the word! It was fun! Really enjoyed myself!

Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee...

Laptop-less

For the first time since Easter break, I didn't bring my laptop home with me for the weekend. Ah, it's so nice not to do work over the weekend. It took a bit of willpower on Friday for me to resist packing my laptop in its case and bringing it home. There's still work that needed to be done but I thought enough was enough for that week. It can wait till Monday. It's lovely to have the weekend to do what I want, which admittedly wasn't much but it was still great that it was time for myself! :)

Oh, in my two week absence from updating the blog because of hectic workloads, I still managed to take an evening off to watch the Lion King (the musical). Oh, it was brilliant. The vibrant colours! The costumes were so cleverly made to the animals come to 'life'. The giraffes, elephants, hyenas, Timon, Pumbaa...! Zazu was funny, as usual. Only (slight) disappointment was Mufasa's death which wasn't as touching as the film but it was still good good good!

Falling Leaves

Adeline Yen Mah writes beautifully about her childhood in China. Born as the youngest daughter in a family of five with her mum passing away not long after her birth, she has not had an easy childhood. In what would have sounded like a typical Cinderella set up, her dad re-married and the step mum was cunning and manipulative - even on her deathbed. She played the siblings against each other to her own advantage.

Adeline wrote of being left out most times. How she yearned for her father and stepmother's love and affection. How she wanted to be part of a united loving family. Time and time again, as a child, throughout school, going through to university and eventually in her own family, she tried to find out if her father and stepmother loved her. She tried to get them to accept her and be proud of her achievements. Time and time again, she was rejected.

Impressively, instead of being depressed by this, Adeline used all this in a positive way. She studied hard, she worked hard. All the time, all she wanted was for her parents to acknowledge her achievements. At the slight chance that they might, she dropped what she had to pursue that little chance that doing this or that would make them happy. It never turned out that way. However, she emerged triumphant. She is a success in her own right. Despite attempts by her own family to 'bring her down' (whom you would expect to be the most supportive), she came out of all this a real winner.

I respect her for what she has been through - the emotional and physical abuse, and turning that into something positive. Only a strong person can do that. Adeline Yen Mah did that.

Playing God

This is a rant. Just to pre-warn you.

I was infuriarated after reading this article. I totally agreed with PATCHES's contribution in the Opinion pages. It is indeed authorities' biased cruelty to dogs. Council 'president' Abdul Halim Abdul Latif says the situation only became chaotic when the dog owner turned aggressive.

Uh-huh.

So poor Eng Her Sun was going to sit back and watch the dog shooters just kill his dogs? I treated my dogs as my family and totally empathise with Mr Eng - I would go mental if anyone hurt my dogs much less even try to kill them. Council 'president' says they had 'no choice' because of mounting complaints from neighbours of the noise etc. Agree that perhaps Mr Eng should have been more considerate. Think about moving the dogs to other areas. But just to kill them on the basis they didn't have a choice? Time to stop using their brains to think about how best to get bribes and what excuse to give the caller on the phone about their poor service. I have been amazed at the creativeness these people have when it comes to inventing excuses for their sloppiness and laziness so it does show that they do have brains and can use it if they want to. Time to start using those brains for the right reasons - what about offering Mr Eng to re-house his dogs?

I must say - I'm not even sure why I'm shocked at the Malaysian authorities' actions. The bias-ness towards dogs happens all the time. In order to get a dog licence in one of the cities, you would have to get permission from your neighbours before you get a dog. I'm sure there is good reasoning behind this. But why dogs only? Why not cats? My parents had a neighbour two doors away who had about ten cats and there was no sign that he would stop the cats breeding anyway. Fair enough if it's his choice. But he doesn't stop his cats from trespassing into others' houses and doing their business in others' gardens. He doesn't stop them from climbing onto and scratching neighbours' cars. When asked about them, he merely shrugs. Then when one of his cats trespassed into my parents' garden and my dogs got excited, he got annoyed at MY dogs in MY parents' garden for aggravating the cat who trespassed. Ooooooh - was I annoyed then. Why blame the poor things whose only crime was to give all their love and trust to (wo)men - more than I can say for most humans?

So ok, agree that the authorities in here may have had a case. But why stop at dogs? If you have good reasoning for it, then the same should be done for cats, etc. I can make it my personal mission to find all houses with more than 2 cats (the allowed number for dogs in most places) and will happily provide it to the authorities free of charge. But I won't do that. Because 1) I don't believe the cats should be shot either; 2) I won't stoop to the same level of the authorities and smug dog shooters; and 3) I have better things to put my brain to use on. Authorities should think about having more events to make sure people are responsible pet owners. That they know when dogs do their business outside, they should scoop it up and dispose of it properly. That their cats should not wander around into others' gardens.

Here's another thought for the authorities thinking up of more excuses to make dog owners' (or actually, all residents) lives miserable and give authorities a chance to earn their money: Why don't you make all residents ask their neighbours' permissions before having a child? Ask all neighbours before you can have a piano, organ or any musical instrument - because it would make noise too. Ask all neighbours before you can have a motorcycle and take out the silencer so it that does the annoying loud vrooooom noise when it starts and goes.

Football changes you

It's strange. Walk up to most men and if you shove them, they try and stay deeply rooted to the ground. Give them a friendly punch and they will not wince. If they were hurt in an accident or fight, despite evident bruises, they claim it does not hurt.

Put them on the football pitch and that all changes. Players from top football nations seem to transform into weird clumsy creatures on the football pitch. Tripping over a blade of grass with no intervention from humans or nature. A slight touch to any part of the body and it sends them sprawling to the ground. Hit them on the chest and they tumble spectacularly and end up holding their face or leg in agony. These occurrences increase even more when they are within the special box also known as the penalty area.

Bizarre, isn't it?

Oh to be a child again...

...to believe that mummy and daddy are all-knowing and all-powerful...
...to eat and play and sleep...
...and sleep and play and eat...
...to believe that toys come out to play after midnight...
...to be carried everywhere...
...t0 have only one worry: when to throw the next tantrum - when they're eating food for adults, or to get the new toy?...
...to only worry about getting all stars in the nursery art work (meaning colour (any colour) within the lines, not ouside)...
...to believe that mummy and daddy will protect you from anything...
...to have your every wish as everyone else's command (within reason and sometimes depends on gender and order of birth)...
...to fully trust in everyone...

Oh to be a child again and be full of trust and belief! Long road of promises ahead!

Little things remind me of being a child again....

• Alpha Kindy, for obvious reasons
• the song 'New York New York' as that was one of my first dance performances. How I frustrated the teacher at practice because I kept twirling the wrong way. Only getting it right at the concert itself.
• 'You are my sunshine' - my first solo song performance. At that time, I could just about get away with being tuneless with having a 'cute' costume that my mom painstakingly made.
• Webster - eating 'nga po fan' with my mom while watching Webster some evenings when dad's working late or has an evening function.
• Full House - following the Tanner family through their family sagas.
• Swings - trying to push myself up in the air as far as possible - not sure why!
• Swimming - my favourite past time with my dad, trying to beat him at swimming because that would mean I was the fastest (of course, I thought my dad was the fastest, strongest, cleverest man in the world, so to beat him at swimming meant I got one of the 'titles'!).
• SJBC - grew up with Sunday school friends and teachers.
• Panini sticker books - falling for those gimmicks and trying in vain to get the books all filled up. If only some stickers weren't so elusive....
• Mind Your Language - the TV show I watched with my dad just before going to bed. Is it to blame for my language skills now? Perhaps...
• Yamaha classes - music classes in a fun way. Having a go at the drums, triangle, castanets, bells. Singing Sayonara to each other at the end of each class.
• Ballet classes - little pink chiffon skirts and leotards. My first dance prop - the bird cage.
  

Steamboat

With Jenny and Karim....

Manj and Kuldip

The happy occasion on Sunday 18 June 2006

Speak O Lord

SPEAK, O LORD, as we come to You
To receive the food of your holy word.
Take Your truth, plant it deep in us;
Shape and fashion us in Your likeness,
That the light of Christ might be seen today
In our acts of love and our deeds of faith.
Speak, O Lord, and fulfil in us
All Your purposes, for Your glory.

Teach us Lord full obedience,
Holy reverence, true humility.
Test our thoughts and our attitudes
In the radiance of Your purity.
Cause our faith to rise
Cause our eyes to see
Your majestic love and authority.
Words of power that can never fail;
Let their truth prevail over unbelief.

Speak, O Lord, and renew our minds;
Help us grasp the heights of Your plans for us.
Truths unchanged from the dawn of time,
That will echo down through eternity.
And by grace we'll stand on Your promises;
And by faith we'll walk as You walk with us.
Speak, O Lord, ‘til your church is built
As You fill the earth with Your glory.

Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music

To listen to the song, go to http://shop.kingswaysongs.com/product_info.php?products_id=432

Light at end of Tunnel

'Big wigs' coming this aftrernoon for preparation for tomorrow's presentation. That means lots of discussion, which would be good because I really need to make sure they are happy with this before tomorrow. That also means I probably won't have as much time to do some of my other responsibilities including working on a workbook that I promised will be published this week.

I hope it goes well tomorrow. So far feedback has been positive but until the presentation actually happens and the end result still remains positive, I won't think it's ok yet. Every week, I think the next week will be it, after which I will be able to have a nice relaxing weekend because yet another major deadline would have passed. But every week, I find another major deadline looms or the present deadline gets extended to another week. Sigh. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I hope for a nice relaxing weekend next weekend!

Bear Grylls

I was privileged to be part of a group who met Bear Grylls. Bear is the youngest ever British to reach Mount Everest and return alive - at the tender age of 23. If that wasn't inspiring enough, listen to this - this was after he had a parachuting accident whilst with the Special Forces and broke his back in three places. Major W-O-W! AND after his return from Mount Everest, he crossed the North Atlantic Arctic Ocean in a small open inflatable boat. As our Managing Partner put it - Don't you feel like an underachiever now? :)

His talk included pictures and videos of his climb. One of his videos was of him crossing metal ladder across a crevasse (with a drop of about 11000 feet). He stopped halfway at the ladder and the video provided a view of the drop. My knees went weak just looking at that. To think the photo of me standing on the glass floor at CN Tower made some people's knees weak, think what this video would do. And the video he showed of reaching the summit - the view from the Roof of the World. Spectacular. Simply incredible. No words can describe it.

Bear spoke so humbly about his adventure. He was honest about his feelings during trip. I didn't feel as if he was boasting at any point, although I felt he was surely allowed to, after climbing the highest mountain in the world!

He told of having to pass Rob Hall's body on the way up and related how Rob died. Rob radioed back to base camp when he realised he was running out of oxygen. Base camp was unable to help him as he was in the 'death zone', so they patched his call to his wife in New Zealand. She pleaded with him to just stand up but he couldn't. In the end, they spend his dying hours choosing a name for their unborn child.

Bear attributed his safe return to the grace of God. He was almost killed in a fall if not for a second rope he attached to himself just a second before the 'floor' collapsed beneath him. He talked about teamwork and how important it was in that journey as you spent 24hours a day attached to another person by a rope. His last message to us? The only difference between an extraordinary person and an ordinary person is that little word 'extra'. It is the special thing within us that would set us apart from others - ordinary people who will go the extra bit or will give the extra bit more. We need to find that 'extra' bit.

I'm probably not doing Bear's talk much justice so visit Bear's website www.beargrylls.com for more details on his adventures and some fab photos. It was really motivating listening to him recall his adventure and talk about climbing with such passion despite the obstacles that were in his way. He is planning to paraglide over Everest next year so we'll pray for his training and safe return on the next trip!

The weekend is over

It has been a long week. Even though it was only a four day working week because of bank holiday Monday, it felt a lot longer than that. By Thursday evening as I boarded the plane back to UK, I was mentally drained. I couldn't believe it was only three days. There was still one more day, which thankfully passed without requirement for extreme brainpower use.

I have never been challenged so much on every point I make. Down to the microscopic detail. With different scenarios, issues, reasons. But it's good. It will be guidance issued to all global teams so it has to be robust. Hence all the challenge is good. But when I'm in the middle of it, trying to explain my reasons and justifications, it can be tough. And it will repeat itself as more people read the guidance, they will want to give their opinions and I will have to reason with them to determine best way forward. All valid opinions. All to be taken on board to make it better guidance. Doesn't mean it's easy though. I hope that this will be one of those experiences where I come out totally stretched, challenged and exhausted but find very rewarding.

I really needed the weekend to recover. The lie-in on Saturday morning was very welcome. I still had to put in some hours of work over the weekend but hopefully it means my workload this coming week won't be bad. This week will be another long one. I am already looking forward to Friday when the next weekend starts. I will be presenting the as-close-to-final process back to the immediate team on Friday, before another round(s) of chingallenge the following weeks from other team representatives. But at least the first barrier is overcome. Hopefully it will be accepted and my team lead is satisfied with the outcome. It has not turned out exactly the way I wanted it to be, but I hope he's ok with it.

King of Kings, Majesty

King of Kings, Majesty,
God of heaven living in me.
Gentle Saviour, closest friend,
Strong Deliverer, beginning and end,
All within me falls at Your throne...

Your majesty I can but bow,
I lay my all before You now,
In royal robes I don't deserve,
I live to serve your majesty.

Earth and heaven, worship you
Love eternal, faithful and true
Who bought the nations, ransomed souls
brought this sinner near to Your throne
All within me cries out in praise

King of Kings, Majesty,
God of heaven living in me.
Gentle Saviour, closest friend,
Strong Deliverer, beginning and end,
All within me falls at Your throne...

Jarrod Cooper

Delft

As there was not much to do in Rijswijk, I decided on Wednesday to venture to another Dutch town about 5mins away on the train. Referred to by my Dutch colleagues as Netherlands' equivalent of Cambridge, I spent a delightful evening walking around Delft. The weather was not on my side - windy with the dark clouds overhead threatening a downpour at any minute. It wasn't a dampener though - it was still lovely to wander around this picturesque and quaint university town.

Oude Kerk

Picturesque Oude Delft
Canals and bicycles - how much more Dutch can you get?

Trust

Trusting someone is like giving part of you to that person. You are giving them the opportunity to really know you. It's also giving that person the chance to disappoint you, to hurt you. You take a risk when you trust someone. You expect them to cherish the trust you have put in them.

It takes months, even years to build up trust. Yet it takes only a second for it to be broken. Can it be fixed? Perhaps. But it will never be the same. You spend even longer building up the trust again. But is it still trust? It won't be 100%. A nagging thought at the back of your head wonders if you've done the right thing. You wonder whether you've just set yourself up to be broken again.

But can you enjoy life and the promises it offers if you don't trust someone? If you don't take the risk of being hurt? I don't know. Easier to sit back and be a cynic. Trust no one. But what will your life be like if you continue to be sceptical of everyone?

If someone trusts you, don't take it lightly. It may seem like a simple thing - trusting that you will do the right thing, but it is still trust. It can build up to a lot more. If you don't break it. If you do, it will not be the same.

Conference photos

We had our conference last Thursday and Friday (18 and 19 May 2006). It was brought forward from July, following the restructuring with a new Chairman, which meant that our original conference dates in July clashed with some of the industry conferences which we are now aligned to and hence will have to attend. So instead of going to Paris for a three day conference and much promised partying in the evening, we went to...... Hammersmith. Ok, so Hammersmith is no Paris. No Eiffel Tower, no Moulin Rouge, no Seine. But it didn't matter - we had no time to venture out anyway. Besides, the performances in the evening from various regions could (almost) challenge Moulin Rouge. We definitely had some showbiz talent waiting to be spotted!

Here are some highlights, but follow this link for more conference photos!

Angry? Stupid? Just plain confused

I don't know if I read too much into things. The way people act, the things people say and sometimes even if they use a word I wouldn't have, my mind races to try and understand why they said what they did or why they acted the way they did. Sometimes, even why they didn't say what they should!

This afternoon, I was slightly thrown off by a conversation. I don't even know if I should be. It felt as if something I have been working towards and something that people say is a guarantee, is now uncertain. All to do with someone's words. All along, the things I have been doing were in this direction. I have been told I will achieve this particular goal, that it would be a no-brainer. So after this conversation, I went away confused. Was I lulled into a false sense of security before? Should I feel stupid for having trusted people's judgements and comments before or should I feel angry for having been pretended to? Perhaps it was silly for me to assume certain things. Or perhaps the person was just managing my expectations.

The question mark looms overhead.

Return of the To Do List

If you ask me to do something, I'll immediately write it down on my To Do list. Every single thing. Sometimes, I break it down to the tiniest level reasonably possible so that it feels great to be able to give a nice tick or cross the task out when it's completed. When people see me writing the task down or when they see my To Do list, they usually comment on how organised I am. I don't actually see it that way. I see it as deteriorating memory failure! If I don't write it down, I will forget all about it and it won't get done!

For the last month, I went without a To Do list. I thought I'd trained myself enough to mentally store, prioritise and remove the tasks upon completion. Obviously had too much confidence in my mental ability. If I could draw out the mental To Do list, it would have been a messy and scrambled picture because priorities were (continuously) reassigned depending on deadlines, tasks and severity of consequences. I couldn't remember what the previous priority was and which had higher priority than which.

So now, I've started my To Do list again and it's sitting there happily with 30 tasks. Does it depress me that it looks like I've got lots of work with such a long list? No, sadly, it actually makes me feel better. I don't have to keep reminding myself of all the tasks and priorities. My brain cells (the last few are very precious!) are free to concentrate on other things. After penning my To Do list at the start and end of every day, I actually feel a sense of relief. No comments on how sad I am please. It gets things done, ok?

Task 18: Update blog - done!

Da Vinci

Watched the movie on Friday night with homegroup. I thought I'd be too tired to concentrate on the movie, since I only had 4 hrs sleep (self inflicted because of the conference event, so am not asking for sympathy!).

I thought the movie was interesting. I can't compare it to the book as I've not read it yet. However, credit must be given to Dan Brown for how cleverly he uses symbols and came up with the plot. Also how he wound facts into fiction, which explains why some non-Christians are adamant that bits of his book can be taken as facts of Christianity.

The publicity and hype are good for others to hopefully discover what Christianity is about and what the truth is, rather than believing in fiction. The sad thing is those who claim to know all about Christianity and rubbish it, using 'facts' from Dan Brown's book. Most of these are not founded in valid research and the originators of some of the 'facts' have also been on media confessing that it was made up. But yet, as is typical, some do not read past the headline to see what the whole thing is about, rather just believe that fiction is fact.

For those who are interested in finding out more (go on, you know you want to!) :)
www.bible.org
www.jesusanddavinci.com
www.rejesus.co.uk/davinci/index.html
www.rbcdavincicode.org
www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/cinema.html (would especially appeal to Singaporeans and Malaysians)

Did he or didn't he?

I'm sure you're all holding your breath to find out whether Bri booked his theory test. As at 12.39am on Saturday 20 May 2006, he didn't. (Remember, the deadline promised was Friday 19 May 2006). This was after a generous 39minutes extension of the deadline. :)

So, will he or won't he eat a mushroom since he broke the promise?

No.

Bri wants an(other) extension. Reason? He can't find his provisional driving license to book his theory test. Would have been a valid excuse had it not been because he was only looking for the license at about 12.15am on 20 May. Which suggests that it was the first time (despite having a whole week) an attempt was made to book the test. Now, apparently the promise is that the test will be booked when he finds his license. Rightttt..... Ooookkkkkkk.....

Nagging, positive encouragement and even the threat of having to eat a mushroom, which if you know Bri would know that it is the ultimate 'yuck', didn't help. I give up. Will I make him eat a mushroom now? No - Bri knew what was 'at stake' (pardon the dramatics) and if he doesn't fulfill the promise yet refuses to eat a mushroom, it suggests two things: 1) There's a lack of understanding of what a promise is, or 2) The promise didn't mean anything anyway!

I'm sure we'll all hear about it IF (I've stopped using the word 'when' for this) Bri books his test.

Tokyo photos ready!

Uploaded Tokyo photos, completed with captions! Link also on left hand side of page.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah

Why do some people talk so much? Replay a phone call I had yesterday to book a private dining area for an event to be held on Monday (not exact words, of course):

Me: I'd like to confirm our reservation for Monday. What do I need to send you to confirm the reservation?
Him: Oh, no problem. It's really late now you know. Normally we need the forms two weeks in advance, so it's really urgent that we complete the forms today.
Me: Yes, I appreciate it. So what do I need to send you?
Him: The application form. I sent it via email. You really need to complete it today and send it back to me. Otherwise we can't go ahead with booking because it is so late and the event will be on Monday.
Me: Ok. I'm at a conference at the moment, but I'll check my emails later and will complete the form and send it back to you by 3pm today. Are electronic copies ok? Can I send it via email?
Him: Yes, please. I need to send it immediately to the landlord. They need to approve it and we need to move quickly because your dinner is on Monday.
Me: Ok, so I'll send the forms via email back to you by 3pm today.
Him: Yes, please do so. It's urgent we complete it today - it is a late booking so we really have to complete it.
Me: Will do. The form will be with you via email by 3pm today.
Him: Yes, otherwise we cannot go ahead. And blah blah blah....... (at this stage, I was annoyed that we are not moving forward after 5mins and still going on about the application form which I'd said I will send about 30seconds into the conversation)
Me: Ok, I'll send you the application form. What else do I need to complete for the reservation?
Him: Ah, the application form - you know, because the booking is on Mondayblah blah blah.......(I began to wonder if my English was worse than his (quite obvious English wasn't his first language) and that's why I'm not coming across clearly in my talking but my colleague's guffaws (who's helping me on this) clearly indicated I had said it before)
Me: Yes, yes, the application form will be with you by 3pm today. Anything else?
Him: Oh, the menus. You need to choose a standard menu. Everyone has to have the same thing for private dining.
Me: Ok, send me the menus and when I check my emails later, we'll choose the set menu and send it back to you by 3pm today.
Him: Everyone has to have the same thing, so same starter, main course, dessert.
Me: Yes, I understand. You have the standard set menus, right? We'll choose the one that everyone has to have and send it back to you by 3pm.
Him: Yes, it's important you send it back by 3pm blah blah blah
(Hair pulling in frustration began).

I won't continue the conversation replay otherwise you'll lose some hair too. Or lucky you - you get to skip past this post - I didn't get the chance with the telephone conversation. Suffice to say, he needed the application form, standard menu chosen and contract back to him by 3pm - electronic copies acceptable. Was there a need for the conversation to last 15mins because of that? Is there a need to explain every single thing when there was no dispute about giving him the forms by 3pm? Why did he need to talk so much????

Why do some people like hearing their own voices? In discussions, someone I know needs to say something everytime. I'm all for contributing your ideas and opinions, but only when they add something to the discussion! Looking back at his 'contribution', we (it was not just me who thinks this) realised what he's just said does not add anything different to the discussion - it was not disagreement, agreement, sharing knowledge, sharing experience, clarification...it didn't add anything so would it have made a difference if it was omitted? Not at all.

What about those who asks you about you but only to open up the conversation because they need to tell you what they've done regardless of your answer? In a question about how your day/week has been, you could say you've just come back from the moon or won the Nobel Peace Prize. They'll gloss over that (and I sometimes wonder if they even heard it - they were probably just asking the question to be polite) to quickly tell you about their grocery shopping that morning, isn't it terrible that the price of milk had gone up by 2p? Or you could have a pressing concern you'd really like to share with someone and am glad they'd asked you about your day, so you go on to tell them about your friend being in an accident or your partner being made redundant. Their response? They go on and on and on about the train being late by 10mins today.

Why do people need to talk needlessly? Why do they need to talk so much? I'm not saying that one shouldn't share experiences or voice opinions. Of course you do and you must continue doing it. But only if it adds to the discussion or conversation, so listening is important too because that's how you know if it does add to the discussion (or to hear if you are annoying the other person with your endless and pointless chatter). The key word in this is 'needlessly'. If one feels the compelling need to hear their voice all the time, some suggestions - do a recording and listen to it all the time , or leave yourself lots of voicemails so you can listen to them whenever you want. Or be like me and have a blog! :) People can then skip past the posts whenever they want!

I know people who can talk loads about anything and everything. I admire them for it. Because everytime they say something, they tell me something new or point out their opinions well. Because they listen to others and know when to say something (when it adds to the conversation) or when not to (when it doesn't add to the conversation).

One's views and concerns are important but don't forget that sometimes there are others out in the world who may really need to talk to someone or whom one could learn something from (surprising as it may be for you to find out). One may be annoyed that it rained today thus putting off plans for a BBQ and need to moan to someone about it. But bear in mind that the other person in the conversation could have a more serious issue - perhaps the rain caused her son's car to skid on the road and he's now in A&E with multiple injuries. She may not have the time to hear all about the BBQ being ruined or she may just need to talk to someone.

If you need to talk, talk. But listen too.

Rijswijk

It's a sunny day here in Rijswijk - thankfully without the humidity so it's still cool. London was lovely and sunny this morning and as I caught the flight this morning, I was worried that I would bring the British weather over the Netherlands. Looks like that was not the case! Only downside is trying to work against the glare of the sun streaming in through the windows. I've tried three different seatings around this meeting table (thank goodness I'm the only one in the room) and none of them remove the 'glare' effect. Resolution? Close the blinds.... so it didn't really matter what the weater was, really!

First impressions of Rijswijk? Not much to say at the moment as all I glimpsed from the cab ride here seemed pretty normal. The client has a huge complex here and it appears as if most of the place looks similar-ish. Client tells me there's not much to see around here - it's fairly industrial/business parks type - obviously not selling it very well!

HK April 2006 photos up

Yes yes, I'm still working on the Tokyo photos. They are uploaded - just working on the captions. Have patience - at last count, there were 259 pictures (and this was me being selective from the 461 pictures we have!) - and this excludes some that is still on B's computer. Anyway....

I have uploaded the photos from my visit to Hong Kong in April 2006 - follow this link, also available on the left of this page under the Photos links.

Mushroom Promise

Bri has put off booking his driving test retake several months (or actually, it has been more than a year now). Understandable really, as it's frustrating to have to retake tests. Bri also hates mushrooms - even just touching mushrooms is a no-no. So... he promised yesterday that he will book his theory test by end next week (Friday 19 May 2006) and book his week-long intensive driving course followed by test for July 2006. After being pushed for a consequence if this doesn't happen (otherwise it'll just be yet another slipped deadline!), Bri promised to eat a mushroom!

And the reason this is on my blog? Bri wouldn't put it on his blog (since he hasn't updated it in 2 months; another 'To Do' for him is to change his blog's design - again. After which, he said he'll put it on his blog when it's redesigned and I started seeing the pattern now... One promise depends on another promise that depends on another promise.... it won't happen). Cynical - me? So here I am sharing it with you! :)

Here's wishing Bri the best in booking his tests, then passing them! That he doesn't pass the test the same time Millie passes her driving tests (she's currently only two years young!).

Struggle and hardship

Ok, so finally.... caught up with some sleep over the week and I do feel a bit more recovered from homegroup weekend. I'm not sure why I feel tired - sessions weren't too intense and it was a fairly laid back and relaxing time.

At homegroup weekend, we focused on accountability and discipline. When things go wrong, it's easy to say 'God doesn't love me, otherwise this wouldn't happen' or 'Why would God let this happen to me?'. So it is reassuring to read "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?" (Hebrews 12:7) Tough times would come, but it's not because God doesn't love us - indeed, they are there because we are God's children. He is preparing us for the kingdom. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11).

What does the Bible mean by struggle and hardship? Surely it is subjective? One's hardship could be another's daily life routine. Is hardship being in war? Losing a loved one? Finding out that you or a loved one has a life-threatening disease? Losing a limb? Not getting the grades you want? Failing to get the limited edition gadget you set your eyes on months ago? Losing a race? Not being promoted? Not getting the job you applied for? It is easy to be dramatic and insist that your struggle is the hardest. It is equally easy to be dismissive of others' hardship and think 'well, at least you are healthy and do not have to be worried about your son/husband/father at war'. Whenever I get stressed now, I make myself take time to thank God for what I already have. It sounds horribly cliche-d, but I make myself think about what others do not have which God had provided me with.

Later on, we shared testimonies on how and why we accepted Christ. It was wonderful to hear of God working in different ways in all of us. As Hebrews 12 points out, there are obstacles in the way and there are barriers that threaten to entangle us in the race. But it was great to hear how God ensured we came out even stronger in the end.

Baby Shower

After weeks of planning, Mollie's surprise baby shower went smoothly! We couldn't believe the mum-to-be didn't catch on to what we were doing! :)

Yew Croft Homegroup

What a weekend! Prayer and praise, bonding, encouragement, challenging ourselves and we also managed to fit in murder mystery dinner, horse riding, baseball....! Am really tired so here are some photos for now.... Will write more later!

The posh hotel owner, Chinese swimmer and weight lifter, Swedish table tennis player and Kenyan marathon runner...

The American basketballer, British journalist, hippy, Dutch weight lifter.
Aww..... my littler and cuter namesake - lil Jessica with Hosannah
The Joneses - a lovely family picture. Think the two lil ones summarise how I feel after the weekend - knackered. So enjoyable though!

Home group weekend coming up!

It has been a busy two weeks, hence why the HK and Tokyo photos have not been properly uploaded yet ('properly' because I also want to put in snippets of information of the trip and places to help my sieve-like memory in future!). I have been working on a client I was involved with since my first year with the firm. A challenging and stretching client with high expectations. Intimidating in the 'run up' to the assignment, however always very rewarding as I always learn more new things from them. So far so good and we are nearing the end of the assignment so hopefully all will be well!

It's our homegroup weekend starting tomorrow! Yay! It'll be so nice to spend a weekend just concentrating on Him - no doubt various sessions will be challenging however it'll all be worth it! There's also horseback riding and murder mystery weekend on Saturday! My first for both (excluding the lil pony trot at Camerons when I was five years young!) so am really really looking forward to it!