Which Mask to Wear?

We have multiple personalities. I don't mean that in a clinical psychological sense. We have different variants of personalities we express to different people. I guess how varied they are would be dependent on each person. There's the Work-Me, Home-Me, Friend-Me, Best-Friend-Me, Sister-Me, Daughter-Me, Fiancee-Me, Customer-Me, Weekend-Me, Babysitter-Me, etc. Not hugely different personalities but some aspects are amplified more than others depending on the Me I am. Some people would have seen me in a combination of the above. Less than a handful would have seen me in all.

It's a bit like choosing masks to wear. Whilst getting ready for work, we don a suit (or relevant attire), put on sensible work shoes and pick up notes/laptop. This happens on the outside. On the inside, we mentally prepare by slipping the invisible Work-Mask over. This is not meant in deceitful terms. (Although that does occur in some circumstances, such as faking degrees/qualifications in order to land a job, two-timing your partner, etc). Donning the Work-Mask may mean being more assertive, less outspoken, more structured, whatever suits the job really. Most of the time, we consciously and subconsciously choose which personality to show others. We carefully choose the words to say, things to reveal and outfits to wear.

Which is our true self? Underneath it all, I believe our core is same throughout. It holds our core personality and values. However, as we grow up, we grow shells to suppress or emphasise certain values. As a child, you may have been one who actively spoke your mind. If you grew up in a culture where this was seen as rude and 'children should be seen but not heard', it is likely that you now have a shell that suppresses your opinionated self which you will only reveal to closest family and friends.

Is it right to have several masks? I think so. People need different outlets. I know a PA who is very organised, structured and well-prepared. When it comes to planning her own holiday, her husband does all the organising. Why doesn't she apply her strengths from her day job to her personal life? Well, she needs a break from all that organising. At the core of it, I believe she is still just as organised in her home life and if her husband wasn't good at organising it, she would likely take over and make sure it is done well. But she trusts and knows that her husband will sort it out well in advance. So her core values are there. However, if one is respectful of deadlines at school/work but always misses appointments/promises with family/friends, it would suggest to me that their underlying value is not one of respect but rather, self-centred. They want strangers to have high opinion of them but don't really care what their loved ones have to tolerate. This isn't right - priorities are wrong.

Sometimes we put on the masks to fit in with others. Our Work-Mask may be based on amplifying the qualities that others in the same company have. Our Home-Mask may be dependent on how we want our neighbours to view us.

You remember the watches that have different faces that you can put on to match whatever you're wearing? Or the mobile phone faces that can be changed? I think our personalities are the same. We just subconsciously change it sometimes to suit our 'audience'.