One Way God has Worked in My Life

Last week's sermon at church made me realise how God had really worked in my life.

I remembered the first time I was really really down. A piece of news was delivered to me which whilst it did not catch me by total surprise, still made me choke. I could not breathe. My stomach hurt in a funny way it had not ached before. I did not know what to think and for lack of knowing what to do, I got my car keys and just drove - just to get out. The next day and following days, I threw myself into work. Despite working 11-hour day 6-7 days a week for the past 10months, I made myself concentrate even more on work. That, I believed, would help me. In a way, perhaps it did, but I now realise how wrong that solution was.

Fast forward a few years later when I was in a similar situation. By then, God had started to work in me. I remember when the initial thought came that the situation was potentially repeating itself, I was in our homegroup retreat and I was staring out at the fields. And instead of feeling the way I did before, I remember how I just prayed days and months that whatever the outcome was, it was what He wanted. Even if it was not the outcome I wanted. I did not get the choking, the breathlessness and the strange stomachache. I did not run out and immerse myself in running, driving or working. I just felt calm. I may be losing something I worked very hard on, but I was not as distressed as I was before. I remember committing it to Him and saying that He should take it if it was meant to, and to help me deal with the consequences in the right way. In the end, God made sure I did not lose it. I trusted in Him. I did lose other things in the process, but I believe that was meant to be - showing me others' true colours despite all that has happened.

I did not realise the differences in my reaction to two very similar situations until the sermon - that it was down to God's work. I had thought before that it was because I became better at handling these things. How self-centred that was! I still wonder about certain things in those two situations. I don't think I will ever know the full picture. When I'm feeling a bit uncertain or down, I think back to the little details and ask myself 'why', 'what did it mean', 'should I have done it differently', etc. And because of that, I will remind myself of the following poem as some of the lines hold true to this current post, and the rest are true to my previous post 'Reflection'. I realise how I used to be able to focus on the positive, and I want to get back there.

Think of the things that make you happy
not of the things that make sad
Think of the fine and true in mankind
not its sordid side and bad
Think of the blessings that surround you
not the ones that are denied
Think of the virtues of your friendships
not the weak and faulty side
Think of the gains you've made
not the losses you've incurred
Think of the days of health and pleasure
not the days of woe and pain
Think of the days alive with sunshine
not the dismal days of rain
Think of the hopes that lie before you
not the waste that lies behind
Think of the treasures you have gathered
not the ones you've failed to find
Think of the service you may render
not of serving self alone
Think of the happiness of others
and in this you will find your own
by Robert Farley