It's different now

I withdrew from the Leadership Programme. The leadership journey started fantastically well. Learnt so much. Was invested in tremendously. Was honoured to meet inspirational people and not just from the corporate world either. Sharing the journey with my peers who are so different yet with the same ambition in mind, who encouraged and motivated me along the way. They showed me the different flavours of leadership and a peek into what leadership in the future looks like.

So why this decision? Selfish as it sounds, I think I have grown as much as I can from this journey. As much as I enjoyed it, I found that the opportunities I have been given were because of me. Not because of the Leadership Programme badge. The things I enjoyed about the programme can be enjoyed regardless of whether I'm on the programme. Various other factors which I won't go into here. In the various unsettlements, I also felt I was not able to contribute as much to the leadership program. Importantly though, I looked at my priorities in life and decided it was the right thing to do now.

It's different now. Career was and in a way, still is important to me. But I realise it shouldn't occupy the huge chunk in my life that it used to. (Actually still does, but I'm working on it...!) Most times, I am my own worst enemy but I am happy that in the past few years, I have proved to myself that I am able to achieve this if I want to. At this point in time, it's not my number one priority.

I still want to do an excellent job. I will continue this journey in my own time and my own way with the continued support of others. The Leadership Programme is one way but not necessarily the only way. With changing priorities, the end goal may not be the same as when I first started out on the journey, but it's ok. I won't be stressed about that anymore.

I realise that there's nothing wrong with just doing your job well. Like my Partner said a few months ago when I voiced my unsettlement, it's ok not to reach for the stars all the time.

It took me nine months to come to this decision. The umming and arring right even when I voiced my decision flew out the window with the great swoosh of relief I felt when I got agreement. There are more decisions to make, on a larger scale....if this took nine months, I wonder how long those would take???