One of many blessings....

I am blessed to have such supportive colleagues and bosses to shape my career. After a few months of unsettlement, I was honest assessing myself at the recent appraisal. I expected my Partner, whom I admire for her (exceptionally) high standards and fairness, to sigh with relief that I had brought up the flaws instead of her having to bring me back to reality. I was surprised (and rather reassured) when she actually offered excuses on my behalf. Perhaps stupidly, I was honest and told her I really shouldn't use those excuses. She suggested that it is ok for now but they would expect me to go back to maintaining high standards, especially being on the leadership programme (and apparently the normal 'meets high expectations' are not enough!).

Another Partner took time out at the end of a very late day to reassure me (news do travel fast) that I should sometimes just let things happen. That it's ok to relax for a bit, as long as it's not forever, instead of continuously reaching for the stars. That I really shouldn't try and project manage my life to the nth degree in the way I manage work. That I shouldn't review my life with the microscope in which I review work. Perhaps he is right. It is worse when you're in a trough to then realise how disappointed you are in yourself, thus making the situation even worse.

I'm glad I'm now out of the 'unsettlement' and stopped feeling disappointed in myself. The silver lining in this was knowing that there are people at the top who genuinely (or at least seem to) care. It is so encouraging. I don't think I can ask for more.