Blah blah blah blah blah blah

Why do some people talk so much? Replay a phone call I had yesterday to book a private dining area for an event to be held on Monday (not exact words, of course):

Me: I'd like to confirm our reservation for Monday. What do I need to send you to confirm the reservation?
Him: Oh, no problem. It's really late now you know. Normally we need the forms two weeks in advance, so it's really urgent that we complete the forms today.
Me: Yes, I appreciate it. So what do I need to send you?
Him: The application form. I sent it via email. You really need to complete it today and send it back to me. Otherwise we can't go ahead with booking because it is so late and the event will be on Monday.
Me: Ok. I'm at a conference at the moment, but I'll check my emails later and will complete the form and send it back to you by 3pm today. Are electronic copies ok? Can I send it via email?
Him: Yes, please. I need to send it immediately to the landlord. They need to approve it and we need to move quickly because your dinner is on Monday.
Me: Ok, so I'll send the forms via email back to you by 3pm today.
Him: Yes, please do so. It's urgent we complete it today - it is a late booking so we really have to complete it.
Me: Will do. The form will be with you via email by 3pm today.
Him: Yes, otherwise we cannot go ahead. And blah blah blah....... (at this stage, I was annoyed that we are not moving forward after 5mins and still going on about the application form which I'd said I will send about 30seconds into the conversation)
Me: Ok, I'll send you the application form. What else do I need to complete for the reservation?
Him: Ah, the application form - you know, because the booking is on Mondayblah blah blah.......(I began to wonder if my English was worse than his (quite obvious English wasn't his first language) and that's why I'm not coming across clearly in my talking but my colleague's guffaws (who's helping me on this) clearly indicated I had said it before)
Me: Yes, yes, the application form will be with you by 3pm today. Anything else?
Him: Oh, the menus. You need to choose a standard menu. Everyone has to have the same thing for private dining.
Me: Ok, send me the menus and when I check my emails later, we'll choose the set menu and send it back to you by 3pm today.
Him: Everyone has to have the same thing, so same starter, main course, dessert.
Me: Yes, I understand. You have the standard set menus, right? We'll choose the one that everyone has to have and send it back to you by 3pm.
Him: Yes, it's important you send it back by 3pm blah blah blah
(Hair pulling in frustration began).

I won't continue the conversation replay otherwise you'll lose some hair too. Or lucky you - you get to skip past this post - I didn't get the chance with the telephone conversation. Suffice to say, he needed the application form, standard menu chosen and contract back to him by 3pm - electronic copies acceptable. Was there a need for the conversation to last 15mins because of that? Is there a need to explain every single thing when there was no dispute about giving him the forms by 3pm? Why did he need to talk so much????

Why do some people like hearing their own voices? In discussions, someone I know needs to say something everytime. I'm all for contributing your ideas and opinions, but only when they add something to the discussion! Looking back at his 'contribution', we (it was not just me who thinks this) realised what he's just said does not add anything different to the discussion - it was not disagreement, agreement, sharing knowledge, sharing experience, clarification...it didn't add anything so would it have made a difference if it was omitted? Not at all.

What about those who asks you about you but only to open up the conversation because they need to tell you what they've done regardless of your answer? In a question about how your day/week has been, you could say you've just come back from the moon or won the Nobel Peace Prize. They'll gloss over that (and I sometimes wonder if they even heard it - they were probably just asking the question to be polite) to quickly tell you about their grocery shopping that morning, isn't it terrible that the price of milk had gone up by 2p? Or you could have a pressing concern you'd really like to share with someone and am glad they'd asked you about your day, so you go on to tell them about your friend being in an accident or your partner being made redundant. Their response? They go on and on and on about the train being late by 10mins today.

Why do people need to talk needlessly? Why do they need to talk so much? I'm not saying that one shouldn't share experiences or voice opinions. Of course you do and you must continue doing it. But only if it adds to the discussion or conversation, so listening is important too because that's how you know if it does add to the discussion (or to hear if you are annoying the other person with your endless and pointless chatter). The key word in this is 'needlessly'. If one feels the compelling need to hear their voice all the time, some suggestions - do a recording and listen to it all the time , or leave yourself lots of voicemails so you can listen to them whenever you want. Or be like me and have a blog! :) People can then skip past the posts whenever they want!

I know people who can talk loads about anything and everything. I admire them for it. Because everytime they say something, they tell me something new or point out their opinions well. Because they listen to others and know when to say something (when it adds to the conversation) or when not to (when it doesn't add to the conversation).

One's views and concerns are important but don't forget that sometimes there are others out in the world who may really need to talk to someone or whom one could learn something from (surprising as it may be for you to find out). One may be annoyed that it rained today thus putting off plans for a BBQ and need to moan to someone about it. But bear in mind that the other person in the conversation could have a more serious issue - perhaps the rain caused her son's car to skid on the road and he's now in A&E with multiple injuries. She may not have the time to hear all about the BBQ being ruined or she may just need to talk to someone.

If you need to talk, talk. But listen too.