I have an ideal situation in my head about everything. Then the pessimist in me makes me have a worst case scenario too, just so I won't be disappointed. Not sure where I heard this saying from, but it stuck with me throughout college, university and now work: "The higher your dreams, the bigger the disappointment". I'm ashamed to say that it had a hand in shaping my decisions since. I wouldn't say it held me back tremendously, but it helped stop me from reaching for the stars on several occasions.
I have been chasing The Ideal since I started working. Admittedly sometimes more enthusiastically than other times. But He listened and gave me many opportunities seen through ratings, promotions and recognition via the leadership programme. But now, I wonder if The Ideal through my eyes is right. As I read and continue learning His Word, I realise that it should be His Ideal. My life for Him, not myself. For His life was for us. For me, unworthy of His love yet receiving it all the same.
And so more and more, I commit my decisions to Him. For Him to guide me. I feel an inner peace. Yes, I may continue to chase dreams. But I know that He will help me do what's right. And more and more, He has shown me that He knows. He listens. He loves.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Keeping Faith
In more ways than one...
The conflict in Jodi Picoult's book is about a child (Faith White) who sees God. Periphery links about whether this was the child's way of coping with her parents' separation, if God really exists and religion. This book didn't grab me in the way the other Picoult books did. I don't know if it's because I read it right after The Pact and her writing style did not hugely vary.
Whilst the book didn't impress me from a style perspective, it addressed an interesting concept. The scepticism that continues about God. In the preface, Jodi Picoult wrote that whilst she was writing and researching, she realised that people were willing to talk about anything but not about God. I realised how true that was. I don't know how much segments of her book were based on real life, but I would not be surprised if these were events that people who want to talk about God encounter. People who see yet continue to question. Those who say 'I will believe when the time is right' and not realising that it's God who decides when the time is right, not you. Those who continually ask for scientific evidence for His existence. Those who prefer to believe in the myths and rumours against Him rather than believe in the truth. Because it's easier. Because they can continue to live life according to their own rules instead of acknowledging Him.
As I read His Word, I have always wondered whether people would stop questioning had they been witnesses when He healed the incurables and saved the doomed. Maybe they would be believers if they were witnesses to the miracles documented by Matthew, Mark, John and Luke. Maybe they would then listen. Reading Keeping Faith made me doubt this would happen. Sceptics would remain sceptics until He chooses to soften their hearts.
....so, Keeping Faith - not just the child but our beliefs too....
The conflict in Jodi Picoult's book is about a child (Faith White) who sees God. Periphery links about whether this was the child's way of coping with her parents' separation, if God really exists and religion. This book didn't grab me in the way the other Picoult books did. I don't know if it's because I read it right after The Pact and her writing style did not hugely vary.
Whilst the book didn't impress me from a style perspective, it addressed an interesting concept. The scepticism that continues about God. In the preface, Jodi Picoult wrote that whilst she was writing and researching, she realised that people were willing to talk about anything but not about God. I realised how true that was. I don't know how much segments of her book were based on real life, but I would not be surprised if these were events that people who want to talk about God encounter. People who see yet continue to question. Those who say 'I will believe when the time is right' and not realising that it's God who decides when the time is right, not you. Those who continually ask for scientific evidence for His existence. Those who prefer to believe in the myths and rumours against Him rather than believe in the truth. Because it's easier. Because they can continue to live life according to their own rules instead of acknowledging Him.
As I read His Word, I have always wondered whether people would stop questioning had they been witnesses when He healed the incurables and saved the doomed. Maybe they would be believers if they were witnesses to the miracles documented by Matthew, Mark, John and Luke. Maybe they would then listen. Reading Keeping Faith made me doubt this would happen. Sceptics would remain sceptics until He chooses to soften their hearts.
....so, Keeping Faith - not just the child but our beliefs too....
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Nearly Istanbul...
Got a call yesterday. Assignment in Istanbul next week. Was excited. Have not been to Turkey before. Would love to go. Although I must admit, it's not one of the top five on my 'must-see' places list. But if I get to go expenses paid, why not?
Alas, thanks to my passport originating from a country which require visas to most countries - rightly or wrongly would be subject of different discussion, this was filed into the 'nearly been' place instead of 'will be going...there...has been' place. Visa takes 20 days. Which means I can't go next week. Well, not legally anyways but that's not a risk I dare take. My colleagues' questions on why I continue to hold this passport become more and more valid (not just with travel episodes but general sentiments I make too). To add to list of decisions to make.
*Sigh*
Alas, thanks to my passport originating from a country which require visas to most countries - rightly or wrongly would be subject of different discussion, this was filed into the 'nearly been' place instead of 'will be going...there...has been' place. Visa takes 20 days. Which means I can't go next week. Well, not legally anyways but that's not a risk I dare take. My colleagues' questions on why I continue to hold this passport become more and more valid (not just with travel episodes but general sentiments I make too). To add to list of decisions to make.
*Sigh*
Sunday, November 12, 2006
There is a hope so sure
There is a hope so sure
A promise so secure
The mystery of God
At last made known
Treasures so vast appear
All wisdom, knowledge here
It’s Christ in us
The hope of glory!
And the life that I now live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory
And each day I live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory
There is a life so true
A life of love so pure
For all our sin
A perfect sacrifice
And when that life was nailed
On cruel cross impaled
Our sinful flesh
With him was crucified
There is a life so strong
That a whole world of wrong
And all the powers of hell
Could not defeat
For Jesus rose again
And if we died with him
With him we’ll rise
To share his endless life
Copyright © 2002 Make Way Music
Saturday, November 11, 2006
The Pact
She did it again. Another fab book from Jodi Picoult. Some have said that her books are all the same. Perhaps. But I left enough of a gap between the books to enjoy her writing all over again.
The Pact is a touching story about middle class families who seem to have it all. Two teenagers who seem on the outside, to be perfect for each other and who have it all in this world. Cut short by a suicide. It showed that having it all is not enough.
You may think you know someone, but do you really? The image of Emily Gold, one half of the couple, is put together through the eyes of others. Which made me realise that one's identity is really based on others' opinions.
Another interesting aspect of the book was the view of truth. Do we always know the truth? Or do we base the truth purely on facts only? Is that the truth? Or is it interpretation of the evidence, which is subjective?
The Pact is a touching story about middle class families who seem to have it all. Two teenagers who seem on the outside, to be perfect for each other and who have it all in this world. Cut short by a suicide. It showed that having it all is not enough.
You may think you know someone, but do you really? The image of Emily Gold, one half of the couple, is put together through the eyes of others. Which made me realise that one's identity is really based on others' opinions.
Another interesting aspect of the book was the view of truth. Do we always know the truth? Or do we base the truth purely on facts only? Is that the truth? Or is it interpretation of the evidence, which is subjective?
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Nottingham
Saturday in Nottingham - strolling through Sherwood Forest. In Robin Hood's land, what better way to spend an afternoon than trying your hand at archery?
More pics here....
More pics here....
Monday, October 30, 2006
Diary of Ma Yen
A simple story. A simple wish. The power of the pen never shown seen so strongly before. If not for her diaries, her wish would not have reached Pierre Haski. Simple writings, yet so touching. The wish, not unreasonable in this day and age, to continue studying (when most teens would probably want to skip school). Edited by Pierre Haski to provide some context, it touched me that education and (near) equal rights that we take for granted here, are unreachables in some parts of the world. Where your gender dictates your right to education and progress in the world.
Thanks to Pierre Haski, Ma Yen had the chance to continue studying. Thanks to her diaries, other girls her age in her province had the chance to continue studying.
The power of the pen should not be underestimated.
Thanks to Pierre Haski, Ma Yen had the chance to continue studying. Thanks to her diaries, other girls her age in her province had the chance to continue studying.
The power of the pen should not be underestimated.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
A Weekend in Dublin
Spent last weekend in Dublin with colleagues from the London project. Turned out to be a tiring weekend and still, I was one of the early birds on Friday night (Saturday morning?) - leaving at about 2.30am. Can't stay up till the wee hours of the morning anymore.
Did the usual touristy things - Trinity College, St Stephens Green, Temple Bar, Iveagh Gardens, Ha'penny bridge, Christchurch Cathedral, St Patrick's Cathedral.... Took the chance to catch up with colleagues - past (JC + family), soon-to-be-past (current London project colleagues) and current. Ate out loads. Enjoyed the fickle Irish weather. Saw Jo and was the designated 'unpacker'. :)
Oh, and guess who we saw whilst we were in Trinity?
The one-and-only Hoff!
Am going this weekend again - wonder which celeb we'll spot this time?
Did the usual touristy things - Trinity College, St Stephens Green, Temple Bar, Iveagh Gardens, Ha'penny bridge, Christchurch Cathedral, St Patrick's Cathedral.... Took the chance to catch up with colleagues - past (JC + family), soon-to-be-past (current London project colleagues) and current. Ate out loads. Enjoyed the fickle Irish weather. Saw Jo and was the designated 'unpacker'. :)
Oh, and guess who we saw whilst we were in Trinity?
The one-and-only Hoff!Am going this weekend again - wonder which celeb we'll spot this time?
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Gweilo
Martin Booth narrated an excellent story of his upbringing in Hong Kong through Gweilo. Through reliving his adventures, reflections and thoughts, I thought the best message that came out was that the word 'home' means different things to different people.
Home is not necessarily where you are born. Home is where you choose to die. It may be where you grew up; or it may be where you choose to raise your own family. Perhaps it's where your family and friends are. Perhaps it's where you meet new family and friends. May be in the same state; or totally different ends of the earth. It could be where you grew up speaking the language. Or it can be where you are so captivated that you give up hours to learn how to speak the language the way the 'locals' do - so you can be one of them in time. It could be where you grew up with the local customs and know what every bow, wink, smile, smirk actually means. Or it could be where you still seek to understand the meaning of subtle differences in body language because you want to know and learn. A place where others look just like you. Or a place where your physical attributes are one of a kind. It could be where you are living now; it could be where you have set your heart on moving to in the future.
Home is your state of mind. It's where you feel comfortable. Regardless of the physical outlook. It's where you never stop being fascinated by the traditions and culture. It's where you recognise the flaws of the place yet love it all the more for that. It's where you want to live your dreams, hopes and ambitions of both personal and professional front.
It's where you know you belong....
Home is not necessarily where you are born. Home is where you choose to die. It may be where you grew up; or it may be where you choose to raise your own family. Perhaps it's where your family and friends are. Perhaps it's where you meet new family and friends. May be in the same state; or totally different ends of the earth. It could be where you grew up speaking the language. Or it can be where you are so captivated that you give up hours to learn how to speak the language the way the 'locals' do - so you can be one of them in time. It could be where you grew up with the local customs and know what every bow, wink, smile, smirk actually means. Or it could be where you still seek to understand the meaning of subtle differences in body language because you want to know and learn. A place where others look just like you. Or a place where your physical attributes are one of a kind. It could be where you are living now; it could be where you have set your heart on moving to in the future.
Home is your state of mind. It's where you feel comfortable. Regardless of the physical outlook. It's where you never stop being fascinated by the traditions and culture. It's where you recognise the flaws of the place yet love it all the more for that. It's where you want to live your dreams, hopes and ambitions of both personal and professional front.
It's where you know you belong....
Thursday, September 21, 2006
It can only get better
You hit a peak. Feel energised, joyful, happy, blessed, content. Then something changes and it starts going downhill. Maybe not the sharp descent. But a slow spiral. Fast or slow, things are different. Doubts creep in. Many questions go round in your head, never voiced as surely, they are silly thoughts. Chastise yourself for thinking such things. Try to pick yourself up. But try as hard as you might, you can't shake the doubts away. And it goes round in a circle.
What caused it? It could be something small, something big. A collection of small things. One big item. It does not matter. You are where you are. When you hit a peak, the pessimist would say it can only go down. It's how you deal with it that makes you different. And hey, things can only look up from now, surely? Glass half full situation?
What caused it? It could be something small, something big. A collection of small things. One big item. It does not matter. You are where you are. When you hit a peak, the pessimist would say it can only go down. It's how you deal with it that makes you different. And hey, things can only look up from now, surely? Glass half full situation?
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Cooking Weekend
It's been a while since I tried new recipes. And inspired by Becky's fish pie and Hosannah's cheesecake, I thought I'll try them out this weekend.
Fish pie turned out ok....
Will do the strawberry cheesecake differently next time. No more puree-ing the strawberries. May be healthy addition but it looks like hospital food (No offense meant to hospital kitchens, but you know what I mean...). Will stick to Delia's recipes in future. Try out chocolate cheesecake next....
Fish pie turned out ok....
Will do the strawberry cheesecake differently next time. No more puree-ing the strawberries. May be healthy addition but it looks like hospital food (No offense meant to hospital kitchens, but you know what I mean...). Will stick to Delia's recipes in future. Try out chocolate cheesecake next....
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
When It's Not Mutual....
Do you feel that sometimes things and feelings are not mutual? When you look forward to something a lot more than the other person is? When you have different expectations? Different priorities lead to disappointment of one? When your intentions are not returned the same way?
The hurt and disappointment if you had expected something more. Joy when you receive more than expected. Guilt when you realise that you could have done more.
If only one can turn back the clock. Realise the disappointment that is around the corner. Realise the good things/deeds right under one's nose and take time to appreciate them. To show appreciation. To suggest changes. Wished some words were never uttered. Wished certain thoughts were spoken. Hindsight is always 20/20. Live and learn.
The hurt and disappointment if you had expected something more. Joy when you receive more than expected. Guilt when you realise that you could have done more.
If only one can turn back the clock. Realise the disappointment that is around the corner. Realise the good things/deeds right under one's nose and take time to appreciate them. To show appreciation. To suggest changes. Wished some words were never uttered. Wished certain thoughts were spoken. Hindsight is always 20/20. Live and learn.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Doggie Love
Laughed and cried whilst reading Marley & Me by John Grogan. How beautifully John captured the tiny details of living with a rambunctious, playful yet lovable dog. Living with Marley came with many challenges but kudos to John and Jenny for loving Marley as he is. Just as he loved them for who they are.
If they wanted, John and Jenny had many reasons to rehome Marley. Chewing up anything and everything within sight, being expelled from obedience school, scratching the walls when there's thunder...the list goes on. But the Grogans stuck with him. Realised that he gave them so much more. Acknowledged the costs of the repairs but cheerfully accepted them as little compared to the companionship he gave them. I'm not sure many would have done the same.
It brought back many memories of dear Laddie and Fraulern, who were so much part of our family for almost a decade. I guess that was what brought the tears too as I felt with John and the Grogans when they had to bid farewell to Marley (this is not a spoiler for the book). Memories of them, joyous as they were, also reminds me that they are now no longer with us. They seemed to sense when I had exams and for that week, did not jump and bark when it was time for their afternoon walk. They wouldn't have let me off so easily all other times. Accusing barks at other times if I dared to be more than 2 hours late for their walk.
The love they so readily and completely gave. I am convinced that they could 'read' people. Laddie, for all his faithfulness and loyalty, was never as generous with his affection to those outside our family. Fraulern, on the other hand, would be friends with anyone. Yet there were occasions when she did not take to certain people although they tried lavishing her with food or attention. And her judgement was always proven right a few months later as the said person(s) betrayed our trust. Laddie, always camera shy; Fraulern, sensing a camera, would happily pose. Different personalities yet they loved each other so. Laddie would walk several paces in front, but turn back to make sure Fraulern is still nearby. Although he was scared of thunder, Laddie would go out searching for Fraulern if we hadn't brought her back after the walk. Fraulern, proud of her big brother, would seek his protection when she sees bigger dogs (not realising that Laddie has more sense than to square up to them!).
John Grogan showed that living with a dog is a two-way thing. I see many occasions when it was a one-way relationship; the dog always giving his/her all yet their master only playing with them when convenient (if at all). The Grogans really embraced the dog into their family life and I hope I will be able to do the same next time. John reflected how dogs love so well - limitless, forgiving, complete and without question. In one reflection, John surprised himself when he realised how Marley could be considered a mentor in how he lived life. I totally agree. Call me mad but I believe we can learn so much from dogs - not just in how they live their life but how they love people. I wish I can readily do the same.
Laddie and Fraulern, I miss you. It has been so many years yet I still smile when I think of your antics and there's still pain when I think that I can no longer give and share your affection and love. I'm sure you are happily wagging your tails in doggie heaven, where treats are plentiful (without the green veg ones you dislike and cleverly separate, Fraulern), vast fields to run in, rats to catch (Fraulern diligently made it her responsibility that our house be rat-free after seeing Laddie do it), golf balls to fetch (which Laddie taught himself whilst Daddy practised behind our house) and plenty of people to lavish you with attention.
If they wanted, John and Jenny had many reasons to rehome Marley. Chewing up anything and everything within sight, being expelled from obedience school, scratching the walls when there's thunder...the list goes on. But the Grogans stuck with him. Realised that he gave them so much more. Acknowledged the costs of the repairs but cheerfully accepted them as little compared to the companionship he gave them. I'm not sure many would have done the same.
It brought back many memories of dear Laddie and Fraulern, who were so much part of our family for almost a decade. I guess that was what brought the tears too as I felt with John and the Grogans when they had to bid farewell to Marley (this is not a spoiler for the book). Memories of them, joyous as they were, also reminds me that they are now no longer with us. They seemed to sense when I had exams and for that week, did not jump and bark when it was time for their afternoon walk. They wouldn't have let me off so easily all other times. Accusing barks at other times if I dared to be more than 2 hours late for their walk.
The love they so readily and completely gave. I am convinced that they could 'read' people. Laddie, for all his faithfulness and loyalty, was never as generous with his affection to those outside our family. Fraulern, on the other hand, would be friends with anyone. Yet there were occasions when she did not take to certain people although they tried lavishing her with food or attention. And her judgement was always proven right a few months later as the said person(s) betrayed our trust. Laddie, always camera shy; Fraulern, sensing a camera, would happily pose. Different personalities yet they loved each other so. Laddie would walk several paces in front, but turn back to make sure Fraulern is still nearby. Although he was scared of thunder, Laddie would go out searching for Fraulern if we hadn't brought her back after the walk. Fraulern, proud of her big brother, would seek his protection when she sees bigger dogs (not realising that Laddie has more sense than to square up to them!).
John Grogan showed that living with a dog is a two-way thing. I see many occasions when it was a one-way relationship; the dog always giving his/her all yet their master only playing with them when convenient (if at all). The Grogans really embraced the dog into their family life and I hope I will be able to do the same next time. John reflected how dogs love so well - limitless, forgiving, complete and without question. In one reflection, John surprised himself when he realised how Marley could be considered a mentor in how he lived life. I totally agree. Call me mad but I believe we can learn so much from dogs - not just in how they live their life but how they love people. I wish I can readily do the same.
Laddie and Fraulern, I miss you. It has been so many years yet I still smile when I think of your antics and there's still pain when I think that I can no longer give and share your affection and love. I'm sure you are happily wagging your tails in doggie heaven, where treats are plentiful (without the green veg ones you dislike and cleverly separate, Fraulern), vast fields to run in, rats to catch (Fraulern diligently made it her responsibility that our house be rat-free after seeing Laddie do it), golf balls to fetch (which Laddie taught himself whilst Daddy practised behind our house) and plenty of people to lavish you with attention.
Monday, August 28, 2006
What I Got Up to in Msia
A lot.... Not very much... Depends on how you look at it... I gave myself certain tasks to accomplish whilst I was in Msia - mainly to do with the wedding preps. But of the four, only one was completed - well, even that was not fully completed. Anyway, the other three had circumstances beyond my control - waiting for date from Royal College of Surgeons was the main one.... I can't exactly call them up to bug them, can I?
Nevertheless, think I did quite a lot anyway.... All photos will be uploaded soon.... Here are some for now....
So, what I did do....
Spending time with family.... Here's one from our trip to the Kadazan longhouse (more on Sabah trip in post below)
My two youngest nieces....
Our furrier family member (probably the most spoilt too!)
Spending time with friends.... Joanna and Yen weren't here but I did manage to meet up with them! (Joanna, send photo over?)
Going to the KL Aquarium - the most patriotic aquarium I ever visited, as you can see...
Visited several hotels to narrow down choices for the wedding dinner venue. Here's B at KL Hilton.... (Also visited lots of fabric shops, wedding designers, tailors for the dresses - thanks mom and Jo for being so patient and enthusiastic throughout!)
Nevertheless, think I did quite a lot anyway.... All photos will be uploaded soon.... Here are some for now....
So, what I did do....
Spending time with family.... Here's one from our trip to the Kadazan longhouse (more on Sabah trip in post below)
My two youngest nieces....
Our furrier family member (probably the most spoilt too!)
Spending time with friends.... Joanna and Yen weren't here but I did manage to meet up with them! (Joanna, send photo over?)
Going to the KL Aquarium - the most patriotic aquarium I ever visited, as you can see...
Visited several hotels to narrow down choices for the wedding dinner venue. Here's B at KL Hilton.... (Also visited lots of fabric shops, wedding designers, tailors for the dresses - thanks mom and Jo for being so patient and enthusiastic throughout!)
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Land Below the Wind
Visit to a Kadazan longhouse.
Pose pose pose
5.30am view of Mount Kinabalu from Kundasang.
Tip of Borneo. We missed the sunset because we ran out of petrol (yes, believe it or not... this turned out to be a proper road trip!) but still enjoyed the views the next day.
Blast from the past?
Second oldest church...
A change from the concrete jungle of KL, London, Houston, Hong Kong, Tokyo...
Pose pose pose
5.30am view of Mount Kinabalu from Kundasang.Tip of Borneo. We missed the sunset because we ran out of petrol (yes, believe it or not... this turned out to be a proper road trip!) but still enjoyed the views the next day.
Blast from the past?
Second oldest church...
A change from the concrete jungle of KL, London, Houston, Hong Kong, Tokyo...
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
I actually drove this on the 'wrong' side of the road!
I asked for a compact car and this was what I got....
Monday, July 31, 2006
Williams Waterwall
A cool reprieve from the boiling temperatures at the Williams Waterwall, a 64-foot tall fountain in Houston Uptown. A supposed 11000 gallons of water flow every minute (on both sides of the wall).
Saturday, July 29, 2006
When in Rome, do as the Romans do....
And when you're in US, that means eating big portions....! Arrived safely in Houston on Tuesday night and since then, I have not finished my dinner once! The portions here are gigantic. I haven't had much of an appetite anyway, think lack of sleep is catching up with me, which is rather unfortunate as the steaks here are yum yum yum!
Went to Fogo de Chao yesterday. All you can eat salad and steak. Can you imagine? As if the US 'normal' portions aren't big enough! At Fogo de Chao, we were given a card which had red on one side and green on the other. You help yourself to the salad bar in the middle and when you're ready for some steak, you put your card to green. Waiters walk around with different cuts of meat and they'll approach you to see if you'd like the cut of meat they're carrying around after which they would slice it onto your plate. If your card is on the red side, they leave you alone. Quite cool.
Went to Fogo de Chao yesterday. All you can eat salad and steak. Can you imagine? As if the US 'normal' portions aren't big enough! At Fogo de Chao, we were given a card which had red on one side and green on the other. You help yourself to the salad bar in the middle and when you're ready for some steak, you put your card to green. Waiters walk around with different cuts of meat and they'll approach you to see if you'd like the cut of meat they're carrying around after which they would slice it onto your plate. If your card is on the red side, they leave you alone. Quite cool.
Ribs being cooked
Oh, and the margueritas here are delicious too! A reminder from Saltgrass....
Today, for the first time, I rented a car in a foreign country by myself AND to drive on the 'wrong' side of the road too! I was so nervous. The gentleman at the rental agency must have thought I'd never driven before, with the basic questions I asked him to make sure the car operated the same way as my car back in UK, just the driving would be on the other side of the road. Thank goodness it was an automatic car too. One less thing to worry about. I managed to drive safely from downtown to the Galleria and then back again. Although I did get slightly lost coming back and making my way from one end of downtown to the other. Got honked at twice. Not too bad going, I think. Don't want to speak too soon though - we'll see how the next few days go! Staying away from those margueritas from now on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
