Is it only Tuesday?

Can't believe it's only Tuesday. *Sigh* Three more days to the weekend.

Two days; enough time for two assignments go pear-shaped. That will teach me to complain about being bored. I really shouldn't complain about doing less than 40hours a week for the first time in 4 years, therefore really shouldn't feel so guilty for doing it for 3 consecutive weeks. I really should have enjoyed the quiet for a bit instead of complaining about the quiet and trying (far too successfully) to do more. Have I gone mad such that if I actually get to go home on time for a whole week, I feel like the pace is too slow?

And now, it has been a manic start to the week. Thanks to my inept sense of direction which got me completely lost on Monday. Thanks to a heavily-accented peer from a different department who is oblivious to her heavy accent, lightning-speed-speeches (because she doesn't seem to include punctuations in her speech) and constant interruption of others, which in combination means she is incomprehensible. Oh, plus she gets the basic process of how it should work totally wrong yet makes wild and uninformed assumptions to back them up and insists she's right. Not only incomprehensible but a nightmare to deal with too. Thanks to another job on a system not doing what it should (should get used to that by now, I guess!). Thanks to.... Stop stop stop

*Sigh* Enough ranting. Will shut up in future about quiet pace of work. But I know I can't. I get bored. Look on the bright side.....at least this incomprehensible and nightmarish person is (only) the second person in my five years with this firm whom I would like to steer clear of in future. Also, I now know the way to the client. And I have an enthusiastic team member to sort out the system not doing what it should do and get the evidence we need. And....it's only three more days to the weekend....

Hope it looks up over the next few days..... I doubt so though. Sigh. Three more days to weekend. (Do I sound like a broken record yet) Two more weekends to start of my Xmas holidays..... Not that anyone's counting......

Seeking Perfection

I have an ideal situation in my head about everything. Then the pessimist in me makes me have a worst case scenario too, just so I won't be disappointed. Not sure where I heard this saying from, but it stuck with me throughout college, university and now work: "The higher your dreams, the bigger the disappointment". I'm ashamed to say that it had a hand in shaping my decisions since. I wouldn't say it held me back tremendously, but it helped stop me from reaching for the stars on several occasions.

I have been chasing The Ideal since I started working. Admittedly sometimes more enthusiastically than other times. But He listened and gave me many opportunities seen through ratings, promotions and recognition via the leadership programme. But now, I wonder if The Ideal through my eyes is right. As I read and continue learning His Word, I realise that it should be His Ideal. My life for Him, not myself. For His life was for us. For me, unworthy of His love yet receiving it all the same.

And so more and more, I commit my decisions to Him. For Him to guide me. I feel an inner peace. Yes, I may continue to chase dreams. But I know that He will help me do what's right. And more and more, He has shown me that He knows. He listens. He loves.

Keeping Faith

In more ways than one...

The conflict in Jodi Picoult's book is about a child (Faith White) who sees God. Periphery links about whether this was the child's way of coping with her parents' separation, if God really exists and religion. This book didn't grab me in the way the other Picoult books did. I don't know if it's because I read it right after The Pact and her writing style did not hugely vary.

Whilst the book didn't impress me from a style perspective, it addressed an interesting concept. The scepticism that continues about God. In the preface, Jodi Picoult wrote that whilst she was writing and researching, she realised that people were willing to talk about anything but not about God. I realised how true that was. I don't know how much segments of her book were based on real life, but I would not be surprised if these were events that people who want to talk about God encounter. People who see yet continue to question. Those who say 'I will believe when the time is right' and not realising that it's God who decides when the time is right, not you. Those who continually ask for scientific evidence for His existence. Those who prefer to believe in the myths and rumours against Him rather than believe in the truth. Because it's easier. Because they can continue to live life according to their own rules instead of acknowledging Him.

As I read His Word, I have always wondered whether people would stop questioning had they been witnesses when He healed the incurables and saved the doomed. Maybe they would be believers if they were witnesses to the miracles documented by Matthew, Mark, John and Luke. Maybe they would then listen. Reading Keeping Faith made me doubt this would happen. Sceptics would remain sceptics until He chooses to soften their hearts.

....so, Keeping Faith - not just the child but our beliefs too....

Nearly Istanbul...

Got a call yesterday. Assignment in Istanbul next week. Was excited. Have not been to Turkey before. Would love to go. Although I must admit, it's not one of the top five on my 'must-see' places list. But if I get to go expenses paid, why not?

Alas, thanks to my passport originating from a country which require visas to most countries - rightly or wrongly would be subject of different discussion, this was filed into the 'nearly been' place instead of 'will be going...there...has been' place. Visa takes 20 days. Which means I can't go next week. Well, not legally anyways but that's not a risk I dare take. My colleagues' questions on why I continue to hold this passport become more and more valid (not just with travel episodes but general sentiments I make too). To add to list of decisions to make.

*Sigh*

There is a hope so sure

There is a hope so sure
A promise so secure
The mystery of God
At last made known
Treasures so vast appear
All wisdom, knowledge here
It’s Christ in us
The hope of glory!

And the life that I now live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory
And each day I live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory

There is a life so true
A life of love so pure
For all our sin
A perfect sacrifice
And when that life was nailed
On cruel cross impaled
Our sinful flesh
With him was crucified

There is a life so strong
That a whole world of wrong
And all the powers of hell
Could not defeat
For Jesus rose again
And if we died with him
With him we’ll rise
To share his endless life

Graham Kendrick
Copyright © 2002 Make Way Music

The Pact

She did it again. Another fab book from Jodi Picoult. Some have said that her books are all the same. Perhaps. But I left enough of a gap between the books to enjoy her writing all over again.

The Pact is a touching story about middle class families who seem to have it all. Two teenagers who seem on the outside, to be perfect for each other and who have it all in this world. Cut short by a suicide. It showed that having it all is not enough.

You may think you know someone, but do you really? The image of Emily Gold, one half of the couple, is put together through the eyes of others. Which made me realise that one's identity is really based on others' opinions.

Another interesting aspect of the book was the view of truth. Do we always know the truth? Or do we base the truth purely on facts only? Is that the truth? Or is it interpretation of the evidence, which is subjective?

Nottingham

Saturday in Nottingham - strolling through Sherwood Forest. In Robin Hood's land, what better way to spend an afternoon than trying your hand at archery?


More pics here....