When it's not possible

When others tell you it's not possible. Because it's just not how things are done. Have to think about culture and what other people want. It is yours. But think about the rest.

It's not possible. Too many things involved. Loved ones will be offended. So it's not yours despite what is said.

But you see it being done by others. Successfully. And then you wonder why you can't have it.

Is it selfish to want it? Is it arrogance? Or is it because you don't deserve it? Maybe you're not special enough to have it. Then the guilt of even thinking like this. That this is not the central point. Think big picture and all.

There are regrets whichever option. Whatever is chosen. There will be lookbacks of if only....

Perhaps such is life. But how then do people live with no regrets?

I still feel ok

It's 10.15pm. I have only had two cups of tea and a biscuit since 7am. Back to back meetings, discussions, phone calls, emails since. It was going to be a nice busy week but it turned manic late on Tuesday because of a last minute call to support a proposal. Lots of missed deadlines as a result. Weekend work is a definite now. But I strangely still feel ok. Hmmm.... I do feel as if something is about to hit me though and I'm beginning to worry what that is.

Villa v Wigan

My first football game. Easter Monday. Aston Villa v Wigan. A rather disappointing 1-1 results but a thoroughly enjoyable experience nonetheless. Thanks for organising, Gaz!!!

More photos from the game here...

Another Foodie Post

This time at namesake's restaurant. The Michelin-one-starred restaurant in Birmingham was ok-ish. Food was good. Service not so. A good dinner mainly because of excellent company. :)








Photos of food at Jessica's here...

Last of the Three

A visit to the last 3-Michelin star UK establishment we have yet to try for a belated Valentine's Day. Service at Waterside Inn was exceptional. Started from the moment we arrived at the end of Ferry Road and our car was parked for us. Alain Roux made the effort to speak to every customer during dinner. Don't remember Heston Blumenthal or Gordon Ramsay doing that! The food? Almost flawless - only flaws were due to a pomelo based dessert (I don't like pomelos) and a weird starter B had which seemed like an experiment of snails and raviolis. All in all though, I really enjoyed the meal and the experience. Definitely one to recommend.









More Waterside Inn photos via this link.

Snow in March?

My only chance at breaking a world record...

And we did it!

Ok, so it was for biggest dance class ever but hey, it's the only chance I ever have at even midly breaking a world record. So we vined, hitched, stepped, kicked and clapped to the Comic Relief Line Dancing Song (creative or what?) on Friday 16 March 2007. For 10mins. All in name of Comic Relief Red Nose Day which made it even better.

Click this link for a clip of the news bulletin from BBC Midlands.

Several more Comic Relief photos via this link.

Waiting to start the line dance...

Just in case you were wondering, this isn't my typical office attire - it was "Big Wild West" theme in the office in aid of Comic Relief so I had to do my part (of course!)

Spot difference in the nose?

World record broken!!!!

For One More Day

If you could change something you did, what would it be? This book provoked this thought through the eyes of Chick Benetto, a retired baseball player. Perhaps an all too familiar background of the child suffering from the effects of the father walking out on the family, right through to adulthood. Mitch Albom used that as the backdrop but cleverly weaved in past and present into the story.

Chick's mother, Posey, is undoubtedly the driving force behind her son. Struggling with his dad's influence over his decisions on baseball, Chick continued to strive for his dad's approval. Even if that meant going against his mom who had always been there for him rather than his dad who seemed to appear only twice in 30 years. But his mom understood. She showed the real power of maternal love. She came back in spirit to Chick on the day he tried to end his life after his daughter stopped contact with him because of his alcoholism and depression. Posey showed him the many ways she loved him and made him reflect on how she had influenced his life.

Those who have often thought "I wonder what would happen if...." should read this book. Definitely a great well-thought present from a fab sis. ;)

On the way to rock n roll....

Or maybe just to master the basic chords first....

Ushering in the Year of the Pig with

A feast....
Cranium with some dodgy antics from Bri and Dan...
A fashion show (in an attempt to promote the culture?)...

And more in line with tradition...dragon and lion dances...

One of many blessings....

I am blessed to have such supportive colleagues and bosses to shape my career. After a few months of unsettlement, I was honest assessing myself at the recent appraisal. I expected my Partner, whom I admire for her (exceptionally) high standards and fairness, to sigh with relief that I had brought up the flaws instead of her having to bring me back to reality. I was surprised (and rather reassured) when she actually offered excuses on my behalf. Perhaps stupidly, I was honest and told her I really shouldn't use those excuses. She suggested that it is ok for now but they would expect me to go back to maintaining high standards, especially being on the leadership programme (and apparently the normal 'meets high expectations' are not enough!).

Another Partner took time out at the end of a very late day to reassure me (news do travel fast) that I should sometimes just let things happen. That it's ok to relax for a bit, as long as it's not forever, instead of continuously reaching for the stars. That I really shouldn't try and project manage my life to the nth degree in the way I manage work. That I shouldn't review my life with the microscope in which I review work. Perhaps he is right. It is worse when you're in a trough to then realise how disappointed you are in yourself, thus making the situation even worse.

I'm glad I'm now out of the 'unsettlement' and stopped feeling disappointed in myself. The silver lining in this was knowing that there are people at the top who genuinely (or at least seem to) care. It is so encouraging. I don't think I can ask for more.

Project Managing One's Life

Am I glad I don't have to review my life in project mode. Well, I guess I could but that probably wouldn't make a happy review. If I had to map my life on a project plan, there would be so many red dots on the RAG status.

Some goals and ambitions are two years late due to personal choices. Instead of persisting with one of my goals, I chose to put it on hold to pursue a backup option. It was upsetting initially when the backup option became more of a reality however this option has been the best! It opened up so many opportunities. Introduced me to new prospects and great people. Ironically, whilst I may be late in delivering the main objective, I have been early in achieving milestones in the backup option. Looking back, I am glad for how things have turned out. And I know this can only be His doing.

My project plan would have been such a mess with ever-changing deliverables, milestones and stakeholders. I'm glad that He is my life project manager. I still look to achieve my goals and ambitions but there are other priorities. I now accept that some will not be achievable. But I look at the alternatives that would deliver so much more. Because I now know that it's not really my life project plan, but His plan for me. And it makes it all the more exciting knowing that this is in His hands and will be for His glory!

Mr Snowman 24 hours later

Still going strong with a fresh blanket of snow piling some on his hat and his nose falling off.

Ugly

People who attribute bad attitude solely to one's upbringing should read this book. Constance Briscoe recounts her childhood - one filled with physical and mental abuse by her mother. Every Christmas, she received the same two presents - her doll (which her mother took from her before Xmas) and a spinning top. She gratefully receives them. In her early teens, she took a part time job on Saturday, which when her mother found out, took to mean that she could afford to pay rent for staying in the house. And stopped providing her with food, gas and electricity. Soon, she was unable to support herself so took on two other jobs to supplement her income to allow her to eat (occasionally) and have sufficient gas and electricty to be able to do her homework. All this while she was still going to school full time. She was constantly beaten and pinched by her mother. Referred to as Ugly, Pissabed (because she wet her bed until she reached her teens and was no longer under the control of her mother) and made to feel guilty for being born in the first place, Constance lost her hair because of the stress and went through an operation to remove lumps from her breasts (when she was 12) which were initially thought to be cancer but turned out to be caused by her mother's pinching.

So did Constance sit back, lament on her pitiful upbringing and hold out her hand to get benefits? No. She was ambitious and studied hard at school so she can realise her dream to become a barrister. For most of her teenage years, she supported herself through her multiple jobs to pay rent, food and bills. She put herself through university, despite her mother's attempt to sabotage that by tearing up her grant form which led to a year's delay to enter university. But she did it by working the extra year to get enough money to declare herself self-sufficient on the grant form.

Constance showed that persistence, ambition, hope and hard work can bring success even in the toughest conditions. And who had the last laugh? It ain't her mother, that's for sure. Constance became one of the first female black judges in UK. How about that for success?

I love snow!!!!

Woke up this morning to a white surroundings! Lovely lovely lovely! And it continued snowing throughout the day! Only downside was having to be in work while watching the snow fall....

View from my wing mirror.

Enjoying a lunchtime snowball fight.

Mr Snowman.

Jo making a snow angel.

27th Bday

Pressies!

Malaysia - Dec 2006

Was honoured to be able to share in Jen and Phong's big day on 29 December 2006...

Spent some time with family and friends...

God Accepts All

God's grace is extended to the animal kingdom... see the pictures here!

Almost Blown Away

Was in Canary Wharf for a meeting on Thursday; a day when 70 - 80mph winds were raging across Britain. Thought I'd be economical and take the tube to Canary Wharf. Exited the train station and was stunned for a couple of seconds at the strength of the wind. I decided to brave it and cross the road to Smollenskys to ask for directions to the client's building. It seemed that the client was just up the road. Thinking it would be rather stupid if I were to get a cab to up the road, I thought it would be ok to walk there. Shouldn't be more than a 2 minute walk at most.

A strong gust of wind greeted when I walked out of Smollenskys. So much so that I had to grab onto the nearest lamp post. My cabin luggage flew about 15cms off the ground for about 10 seconds. It was almost funny. I say 'amost' because it was funny for about one minute, but not 10 minutes later when I found myself still hanging onto the lamp post. I was getting frustrated. The winds didn't stop long enough for me to let go, gain confidence and walk a few steps away. Oh, and I could see people being blown over as they tried to resume their journeys. A woman a few feet away from me was blown over and I think she was unconscious as security and paramedics tried to shelter her from the wind. I guess it would have been a comical scene to view from one of the many skyscrapers at the Wharf. Alas, I wasn't one of them.

The men waiting in Smollenskys found me quite entertaining, though - hanging onto the lamp post with my luggage and in fact, my body veering away in the direction of the wind. My faith in gentlemanly behaviour was slightly redeemed when a nice gentleman approached me not long after to ask if I was ok and then gave me his arm to hold onto as he walked me to my client. Isn't that nice? I was so thankful to him as otherwise, I'm not sure how much longer I could hold onto the lamp post for.

This would sound rather dramatic and funny if it's not for my arms still aching the next two days!

Spiritual MOT

A weekend to focus on Him. Look at whether we have grown in Him, and how much. A spiritual MOT. It's amazing to look back in the last year and realise that we have indeed grown with Him. Maybe not as much as I would have liked but His grace has always been here. We made spiritual resolutions for this year - so we can pray for each other but also as a homegroup, for accountability too...

We also took time out for a walk in Chatsworth - what gorgeous scenery! Also not forgetting the annual homegroup traditions of murder mystery and the Mafia game!

The majestic Chatsworth House

Dorothy (of Wizard of Oz), Robin Hood, Alice (of Alice in Wonderland) and Red Riding Hood.

Cinderella, Snow White and Goldilocks.

Snow White, The Wizard (of Wizard of Oz) and Dracula.

Derwent House transformed into a library - the crime scene.

Pictures of the murder mystery and idyllic Peak District can be found here. More photos will be uploaded later as I get them from the rest....